First date ideas that aren’t drinks.

What makes a good first date

• Public. A café, a market, a park with people in it. Not their place, not yours, not a car.
• Short by default, long by choice. Coffee can be forty minutes. If it’s going well, the walk afterwards can be two hours. A three-course dinner can’t be forty minutes.
• Something to look at. A market, a gallery, a game. Side by side is easier than across a table when you’ve just met.
• Cheap enough that nobody feels owed. Save the treat for the second date, when you know you want one.
• Daytime, if you can. Sober, bright, and the whole afternoon is open if it works.

How to suggest it without it being weird

Name a thing and a day, and make it easy to say no to the day without saying no to you: “There’s a farmers market near me on Saturday mornings. Want to come? If Saturday’s bad, I’m free Sunday too.” Specific is confident. “We should hang out sometime” is nothing anyone can say yes to.

Wait until the conversation has gone back and forth a few times. A date asked for in the first message feels like a shortcut; one asked for after a real exchange feels like the obvious next step.

Before you go

Tell a friend where you’re going and who with, meet there and leave on your own, and keep your first-date plans to places you’d be happy to be seen in. Our safety page has the full list. None of it is paranoia. It is what lets you relax and enjoy the date.