Most matches die in silence: both people wait, neither wants to send “hey”, and a week later it’s too late to send anything. The fix is one line built from something they actually shared. Paste one thing below and take an opener.
Nothing you type is sent or saved. Leave it empty for openers that work on any profile.
Why “hey” never gets a reply
“Hey” asks the other person to do all the work. It says nothing about them and nothing about you, and it is the same message they got from everyone else. A first message gets a reply when it proves you read their profile and leaves them one easy thing to answer.
The three rules of a first message
Reply to one thing. Pick a single detail they shared, a photo, an answer, their job, their city, and build the message on it. One detail beats a compliment about the whole person.
Ask one question. Not three. One question they can answer in a sentence, about the thing you picked. Questions with a story behind them (“how did you end up…”) work better than yes or no questions.
Keep it short. One or two lines. Long first messages feel like homework. You are starting a conversation, not finishing one.
Examples that work
They answered “I get way too excited about: sourdough” → “Sourdough? Okay, how many starters have you named.”
Their job says nurse → “Nurse? What’s the part of it nobody guesses?”
They’re in Austin → “Best thing in Austin that isn’t in any guidebook?”
They sent a note with their like → “Thanks for the note. What made you say that?”
What to avoid
Comments about their body. Comment on what they wrote or what they are doing in a photo instead.
Pickup lines you found online. They have seen it.
A list of questions. Pick one.
Asking them out in the first message. Give it a few replies first; the app can suggest a day when the conversation is ready.
When they don’t reply
Send one follow-up after a few days, on a different subject, and then leave it. Silence is an answer, and the next match is one like away.
In Intime you never start from a blank box: when you match, the app writes three openers from their profile for you, so every chat begins with something to talk about.