The message after the date is where people freeze: too keen, too cool, or nothing at all. There are only four situations, and each has a message that is honest and kind. Pick yours.
Say so. The fear of seeming too keen keeps more second dates from happening than keenness ever did. “I had a really good time” is not a confession. Then, the next day, suggest a day and a thing. If they say yes, you have a second date. If they say no, you have your answer, which is better than a week of wondering.
You don’t have to decide tonight. Send the thank you, honestly worded, and give yourself a day or two. Then decide, and say it. “Not sure” is fine for 48 hours and unfair after a week.
One message, kind and final: thank them, say you didn’t feel it, wish them well. No list of reasons; reasons invite a debate. No “let’s be friends” unless you mean it. Then don’t reply to a reply that argues. You have been clear, and clear is kind.
Say you’re in, once, and hand them the decision: “I’d like to see you again, if that sounds good to you too.” Then leave it. If they come back, good. If they don’t, you asked plainly and lost nothing.
One follow-up after two or three days, light, on a different subject. After that, let it go. People who want to see you again find a way to say so.
Intime never asks how the date went, and it never will. The conversation you had before it is still there, which is the best place to start the message after it.
Coming soon